odd twisted lines define his face, grotesque in every way, this thing that sits before me
is not human, what interstellar prison did he escape from? he stares at me blankly
no feeling in those deep dark holes that can only be his eyes. he is twice my size
ten times my strength, and with no heart, no feeling, no conscience, and a simple
will, he is infinitely more dangerous to me than i could ever be to him... i am armed
with a simple blade and projectile weapon, perhaps i can put hope in those to rescue me.
a foolish hope, but i have heard of lesser men overcoming more with even lesser hopes
he starts to move, not towards me but just to the side, towards the door,
still staring, never blinking those holes in his head... why does he retreat?
and to where? i sense no fear in him, only flat nothing. he cannot be second
guessing himself, there is no reason... that i know of...
the holes squint, very narrow slits now, no longer lifeless, almost glowing yet still dark
they pierce me, burn holes through me, as if i wasn't there...
an explosion of motion, he moves towards me with a speed that is hard for my eyes
to track, i drop to my knee and draw my weapon, but as i take aim he sails over me.
rolling to my back i somersault over to see him tackling a huge muscular creature just a
few feet past me, he tears it apart a limb at a time, showering me in a brown putrid
fluid that can only be some type of blood...
he is looking at me again, those staring holes... heaving with each breath, he is covered
with the creatures blood, dripping off him as if he had been swimming in it, the walls are
splattered, smeared and smudged with it... the gore is visually stunning, gut wrenching
the hand that holds my weapon is shaking uncontrollably as he starts towards me...
convinced this will be the last few seconds that i live, i bring the weapon up and aim at his face
those dark holes always staring, perhaps i can give him a third one in between them,
before the brown gore that runs down the walls and across the floor gets mixed with the red within me
he stops, cocks his head to the side, like a dog hearing an inaudible ringing...
his face contorts into what can only be a smile, i've lived a long life without seeing a demon's grin
i guess there is a first time for all things
is he amused at my stubbornness? why the hesitation? is this a game to him? pictures of a cat playing with a mouse before before pouncing on it dance in my head...
whats that noise?
sounds like
scratching....
ripping.........
tearing......
................
awww, stupid dog, what is she getting into now?
man, what a dream...
i should write this down....
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
waiting
alone
afraid
lost
none of those things describe me tonight
i have a renewed sense of creativity
its like waking from a long dreary dream
stories almost forgotten stir anew in my mind
i long to finish those stories
so many though... on which do i start?
exxes seems a good one, but too complex?
perhaps fuzzball comics...
so i do some animation, some render tests
and now i sit and wait for the numbers to be crunched
smooth digital jazz soothing me
the moon high in the sky
bright as the sun
a day away from being full
...........................
he sits on a deserted beach
waiting for her
he has been here for minutes that stretch into years
still waiting
seeing her face in his mind, he smiles
waiting
will she come?
the invitation was simple
meet me on our beach, ill be waiting
our beach
they met there
he was alone that day
beat up by life
getting away
she was walking down the shoreline
crying from the beating life had given her
not wanting to be alone
she did not see him
he saw her
he watched as she walked by
head hung low, tears flowing
it was almost midnight
the moon peaking out from behind thunderheads
making their way inland
she walks just past him, and stops
facing the powerful ocean
waves pounding in one after another
like the blows she received earlier from the day
a lost friend
a misunderstanding at work
a near miss on the highway
a past that haunts
pounding in one after another
he clears his throat almost inaudibly
she spins at the noise
and stares into the darkness
fear in her eyes
"who's there..?"
he stands
"just someone trying to get away"
no response
she glances around as if to seek some hideaway
some hole to climb into
some place to hide
"ill leave the beach to you if you need it"
"no" she says at last
"you ok?"
"no, not really"
"then we are two of a kind, then. want to talk about it?"
with a total stranger? oh sure
"not really"
he sits
"ok"
she stands there trying to see him
then walks towards him, slowly
and sits just to his right
...
silence
that was the first night they spent together
on this beach
two people just out of reach of each other
yet totally alone
he finally broke the silence with some of his own thoughts
she sat and listened for some time before she spoke a word
but once that word was spoken
a relationship started
they began "running into each other"
on that beach
at first hit and miss
he would show up hoping to see her again
and did not
she would take that walk
hoping he would step out of the darkness
offering an ear
and walk on alone
but the meetings began to be more and more often
not "planned"
but soon each time they sought out the beach
they found each other
talking until the sun came up over the line cut across the sky by the sea
they shared their pasts
their secrets
pains
loves
struggles
victories
exploring the depth of each other
as each would allow
..............
information was finally exchanged
a number
an address
then many days passed before either visited the beach
he took a chance today
leaving that note
not a chance meeting
an invitation
now he waits
did he cross a line?
would the magic of a "chance meeting" die with that invitation?
he waits
when do i get up and leave? he asks himself
how long do i wait?
waiting
oh well...
he stands, brushing the sand from his jeans
and looking up
he sees her...
afraid
lost
none of those things describe me tonight
i have a renewed sense of creativity
its like waking from a long dreary dream
stories almost forgotten stir anew in my mind
i long to finish those stories
so many though... on which do i start?
exxes seems a good one, but too complex?
perhaps fuzzball comics...
so i do some animation, some render tests
and now i sit and wait for the numbers to be crunched
smooth digital jazz soothing me
the moon high in the sky
bright as the sun
a day away from being full
...........................
he sits on a deserted beach
waiting for her
he has been here for minutes that stretch into years
still waiting
seeing her face in his mind, he smiles
waiting
will she come?
the invitation was simple
meet me on our beach, ill be waiting
our beach
they met there
he was alone that day
beat up by life
getting away
she was walking down the shoreline
crying from the beating life had given her
not wanting to be alone
she did not see him
he saw her
he watched as she walked by
head hung low, tears flowing
it was almost midnight
the moon peaking out from behind thunderheads
making their way inland
she walks just past him, and stops
facing the powerful ocean
waves pounding in one after another
like the blows she received earlier from the day
a lost friend
a misunderstanding at work
a near miss on the highway
a past that haunts
pounding in one after another
he clears his throat almost inaudibly
she spins at the noise
and stares into the darkness
fear in her eyes
"who's there..?"
he stands
"just someone trying to get away"
no response
she glances around as if to seek some hideaway
some hole to climb into
some place to hide
"ill leave the beach to you if you need it"
"no" she says at last
"you ok?"
"no, not really"
"then we are two of a kind, then. want to talk about it?"
with a total stranger? oh sure
"not really"
he sits
"ok"
she stands there trying to see him
then walks towards him, slowly
and sits just to his right
...
silence
that was the first night they spent together
on this beach
two people just out of reach of each other
yet totally alone
he finally broke the silence with some of his own thoughts
she sat and listened for some time before she spoke a word
but once that word was spoken
a relationship started
they began "running into each other"
on that beach
at first hit and miss
he would show up hoping to see her again
and did not
she would take that walk
hoping he would step out of the darkness
offering an ear
and walk on alone
but the meetings began to be more and more often
not "planned"
but soon each time they sought out the beach
they found each other
talking until the sun came up over the line cut across the sky by the sea
they shared their pasts
their secrets
pains
loves
struggles
victories
exploring the depth of each other
as each would allow
..............
information was finally exchanged
a number
an address
then many days passed before either visited the beach
he took a chance today
leaving that note
not a chance meeting
an invitation
now he waits
did he cross a line?
would the magic of a "chance meeting" die with that invitation?
he waits
when do i get up and leave? he asks himself
how long do i wait?
waiting
oh well...
he stands, brushing the sand from his jeans
and looking up
he sees her...
If you were alone
its windy tonight
the chimes ringing
moving with borrowed life from the wind
singing a song to the world around them
triptrance audio files playing from small speakers
the sound that keeps my mind focused
the frequency that allows it wander
a beat that makes me want to move
surrounded by darkness
clouds hide the stars
it is midnight after all
sitting here in my own little world
fingers slapping away a this keyboard
this new world of brain dumping
a comfortable place for me to be
why am i so comfortable to sit here alone?
just me, myself and i
the three of us get along just fine
we are able to express our selves, unhindered
digital freedom
i guess the good things about being alone
no one to bother you
nobody to act for
no one to look at you funny
then again, the bad part is
youre alone
is it good to be alone?
sometimes
all the time?
no
i had a psych patient that told me once
"if i stop taking my meds
everyone goes away..."
he says his halucination is this
"the world empties
i am completely alone"
how long could a human mind handle that?
a day? a week? a month?
he did it everyday for about 6 years....
what would that do?
if you were absolutely convinced
that no one was around?
looking at this mans history
was a good indication
the things he had been picked up for...
walking about in a mall naked...
going on a test drive in a new car
but driving it to his home and walking
to his door with the keys....
unable to see or hear the sales guy demanding his keys back....
seeing something in a store he wanted
not seeing anyone else in the whole store
he picks it up and just walks out...
what would you do in a given situation
if you were convinced no one would see
or no one would ever know?
would you live differently?
if you say yes
then those things that you would do
undiscovered by those around you
are a very real version of who you really are
what your character is really like....
makes you think... doesnt it?
the chimes ringing
moving with borrowed life from the wind
singing a song to the world around them
triptrance audio files playing from small speakers
the sound that keeps my mind focused
the frequency that allows it wander
a beat that makes me want to move
surrounded by darkness
clouds hide the stars
it is midnight after all
sitting here in my own little world
fingers slapping away a this keyboard
this new world of brain dumping
a comfortable place for me to be
why am i so comfortable to sit here alone?
just me, myself and i
the three of us get along just fine
we are able to express our selves, unhindered
digital freedom
i guess the good things about being alone
no one to bother you
nobody to act for
no one to look at you funny
then again, the bad part is
youre alone
is it good to be alone?
sometimes
all the time?
no
i had a psych patient that told me once
"if i stop taking my meds
everyone goes away..."
he says his halucination is this
"the world empties
i am completely alone"
how long could a human mind handle that?
a day? a week? a month?
he did it everyday for about 6 years....
what would that do?
if you were absolutely convinced
that no one was around?
looking at this mans history
was a good indication
the things he had been picked up for...
walking about in a mall naked...
going on a test drive in a new car
but driving it to his home and walking
to his door with the keys....
unable to see or hear the sales guy demanding his keys back....
seeing something in a store he wanted
not seeing anyone else in the whole store
he picks it up and just walks out...
what would you do in a given situation
if you were convinced no one would see
or no one would ever know?
would you live differently?
if you say yes
then those things that you would do
undiscovered by those around you
are a very real version of who you really are
what your character is really like....
makes you think... doesnt it?
horror
horror
gore
a blood smattered wall
a carpet soaked in some kind of dark nastyness
a body
scenes from a tv show tonight
she winces
pulling her eyes from the sight
looks like one of my dreams i say...
how long have i dreamed such things...?
3 decades...
no, not every night
but more than i would have liked
why would i want to ever sleep again...?
there is always a chance of my darkest fears
griping me to point of death
letting go just in time for me to wake
to face another day
a chance ill be waist deep in some flood of gore
of chained down in the darkest pit my mind can provide
alone and lost in a forest of angry trees
trapped in that backyard that brings such hate
but, and as always there is a but
without taking those chances
there would be no alex'ra
ja'ul from i am cold would not exist
sparc, nrgy, and the kid of terra transport would not be
13, exxes, quandry, the monoliths
... and so many more
these places i have visited
the other worlds i have explored
some many times
are sweet departures
from the hell that i could visit
ive never considered myself a writer
but i have been writing now almost every night
perhaps one day ill put them all together
bind them up and share them with the world
not yet
only those closest to me are allowed to see in me
isnt that how it should be?
i think of stories i love to read
what if those people would have not shared?
so some day i will share
im sure someone will enjoy these ramblings of mine
in some way or another
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
